By Narayan Saimbi
When I think of idyllic Americana, Gilmore Girls immediately comes to mind. Following the mother-daughter relationship between Rory and Lorelai Gilmore, the show is known for its quick-witted dialogue, endearing characters and cozy autumn vibe. It is highly praised for its portrayal of “smart, independent women” and has gained a cult following over the last twenty five years.
But what if I told you that it’s not just the women that are written well? Whilst Rory and Lorelai are the focus of the show, there are two male characters that share both a similar dynamic and a similar quality of writing. Their names: Luke Danes and Jess Mariano
Image Credits: Gilmore Girls, S3 Ep14, “Swan Song”
Luke Danes is a diner owner in his mid-twenties, constantly dressed in a flannel overshirt, a backwards baseball cap and bootcut jeans. He drives a 1970s Chevy truck and is well known for his brash and cynical personality. Jess Mariano is the classic rebellious teenager, initially being incredibly disruptive to Rory, Lorelai, Luke and the entire town of Stars Hollow that Gilmore Girls takes place in.
But underneath their macho facades, we see characters that are empathetic, appreciative, mature and kind-hearted. Starting with Luke, he puts Lorelai and Rory first multiple times in the series. He closes the diner to drive Lorelai to her father in hospital. He stays up all night setting up a goodbye party for Rory. He becomes the father for Rory that she never really had and shows us that men can be kind and caring, even if it’s not asked for.
Whilst Jess does start off on the wrong foot, he develops into a man who models after Luke and becomes someone that Rory trusts and appreciates in her life. He connects with her on literature and music and stays a significant part of her life after their breakup. Most importantly, he gives Rory tough love when she needs it most. By the time the sixth season of the show rolled around, Rory had dropped out of college and her life was in shambles. Jess was there to talk her out of it and encourage her to put her life back on track. Whilst he doesn’t always demonstrate the painstaking dedication that Luke does, his kindness is not to be dismissed. He is a man who is ultimately good, despite his initial lack of maturity.
Image Credits: Gilmore Girls, S2 Ep5, “Nick and Nora/Sid and Nancy”
The most important thing to note about these characters is that they are not one-dimensional. Luke and Jess are written as real people, with real flaws to their personalities and natures. This sense of relatability means that the actions of Luke and Jess resonate with us so much more, and give us a glimpse into how positive masculinity can be incorporated into our lives. They demonstrate to us that kindness is a virtue- a virtue that has been unfortunately overshadowed in typical conversations around masculinity.
Whilst the “sugar-and-ice” trope is certainly cliché, the manner in which Gilmore Girls does it is refreshing and gives the audience an impression of what real masculinity is like. No more self-centered “nice guys”. No more narcissistic misogynists. Gilmore Girls gives us two characters that are a breath of fresh air to the typical presentation of masculinity that we usually see on our screens.
So the next time you think of what “makeths the man”, think of Luke and Jess. Think of kindness, empathy and compassion. In my opinion, these virtues are what masculinity is really about. And no “alpha male” podcast bro should convince you otherwise of that.
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